Narcissism… Why didn’t I see it coming?
- Details
- Category: Mental Health
- Created: Thursday, 27 October 2016 22:04
- Written by David Shubert
Often times, when a parent abducts or alienates a child from the other parent, we tend to believe that they are simply just evil hearted individuals. Someone who is incapable of feeling or caring about the pain for which they inflict upon others. Even, believing that these people are devoid of all moral balance and human compassion. These, obviously are natural thoughts and are common when someone enters your life and turns true happiness into tremendous grief.
These are the people who have always been in our midst but, have somehow avoided our personal space.
Up till now they were simply fictional characters that we all knew existed but, never really encountered. They had faces and even, lives but, their very names were foreign to us. That is, until they entered our lives. We now know them as, Narcissist.
The reality is, people who suffer from Narcissism aren’t even aware that anything is wrong with them. They tend to believe wholeheartedly that they are the true victims in conflictive situations and that their actions are justified, no matter what. Anything that resembles resistance or opposing views from others regarding, their actions or thoughts are met with animosity.
Now that I’ve said this, let’s take a look at what the definition of what Narcissism is. According to the Mayo clinic.
“Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental condition in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for admiration and a lack of empathy for others. But behind this mask of ultra-confidence lies a fragile self-esteem that's vulnerable to the slightest criticism.”
“A narcissistic personality disorder causes problems in many areas of life, such as relationships, work, school or financial affairs. You may be generally unhappy and disappointed when you're not given the special favors or admiration you believe you deserve. Others may not enjoy being around you, and you may find your relationships unfulfilling.”
It needs to be noted that there is no current cure for Narcissist Personality disorder (NPD) and is perhaps, one of the most challenging to treat. People who have NPD will constantly let you know that you are always wrong. This makes having any type of relationship with these people very difficult, be it work or personal.
Many times when we first encounter someone with Narcissistic tendencies, they will often hide their true nature with utmost care. It is not until later that their carefully placed mask slips and they begin to reveal their true identity. By then, we are caught up in their web of manipulation and even, lies. It can often be difficult to escape these types of people due to their high level of deceit and manipulation.
When and if, you do find yourself involved in a relationship with this type of person, it may seem like a daunting task to escape especially, when children are involved. However, for the sake of all involved it is paramount that you do so. There will be moments where high conflict emotions will plague you from this person but, remaining in this relationship is to continue within a constant state of suffering.
Dependent upon the severity of the NPD of your partner (or former), you can usually expect the unexpected to happen. Be it mood shifts in an otherwise pleasant conversation that turns volatile in the blink of an eye to selfish abandonment and everything in between. One must always be on guard when in a relationship with this type of person.
If, there are children involved, it is a sensible idea to make sure that you keep copies of any current and pertinent records, photos and other items regarding the child. Though, it may never happen, your partner or spouse could possibly end up abducting and whisking them away to another town, state or even, across international borders.
I am not saying that abduction is a common occurrence but, it does happen. Just remember, you didn’t see it coming when this person entered your life and revealed their Narcissistic tendencies so, it is doubtful you will see it, should they leave and take your children with them. In the motto of the boy scouts, “always prepared”.
By David Shubert
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